The Man Log

Well this is my inaugural post, and I suppose i should give some background. I am married and have 2 kids and my wife has recently started her own blog called "My Mommy Brain" or something like that. She challenged me to start my own blog and I decided it would be a good idea. Why you ask? Because I am so tired of hearing about mommy stuff. I can't believe the things I know about now that I have kids. I know more about breastfeeding than I ever thought was possible. I always assumed that the kid put his mouth over the nipple, sucked and white stuff came out. If this is what you think you are wrong on many levels. First off when the kid first pops out he gets a serious dose of nastiness called "Colostrum." This is a translucent, vitamined, enzyme mix of what I can only assume is 98 degree chalk. Here is the really gross part; You can buy cow colostrum in the store, they carry it at whole foods. Who is the sick weirdo that buys this stuff.

My wife has provided our youngest (9 months) with cloth diapers, sounds like a great idea right? Sure you don't have to buy them as frequently and you can resell them when you are done, but did you ever think about what happens when your kid drops a massive deuce when you are out somewhere? You can't throw it away, these things are like 20 bucks a pop. That's right, it goes directly in the diaper bag where we save it for later.

In other kid news I have seen poops that defy gravity on a couple of occasions. This is what happens when there is so much of the #2 the diaper can't hold it all and it seeks escape from anywhere it can be found. Out or up it does not matter. This poop will crawl up your back (literally) if you aren't quick enough.

So where am I going with all this? This blog will be an escape. We will discuss dude things, and stuff I like. Things like sports, single malt, and disgusting things on the internet (ratemypoo.com I am talking about you). We may from time to time talk about bars, good food, good wine, and bad decisions. I will share the awkward things I do, not to make me feel better about myself, but rather to entertain and make you laugh at me. I may share updates, i may not but this i will promise: Unless it is a really funny story this is the last time you will hear the following words on my blog: Breastfeeding, diaper, cosleeping, colostrum, playdate, mastitis, placenta, circumsision, and engorgement.