What is a sport?

We talk about it so often, and we know the sports that are sports like football, basketball, and soccer. We know that those who play them at the highest levels are amazingly talented athletes and many of us wish that we had such abilities, but what about those other sports?

I have heard it argued that bowling isn't a sport, after all can't you drink beer and bowl? How about golf, you drink beer and ride in a golf cart. Plus if John Daly is one of the stars of your sport and has won on it's highest level (British Open) there is no way it is a sport. What about synchronized swimming? Nothing that lame can be worthy of being called a sport.

It is as a result of these questions that I will lay down the rules of what qualifies as a sport in this Man Log Entry. I will not quote the dictionary to figure this out, dictionaries are stupid and overrated and what does a man named Merrian know about sports anyway?

1. A sport takes some level of strength, endurance and athleticism. It is fundamental to all sports that these things are involved. Who would want to watch baseball if the batter lacked these qualities? Would football be as fun if the athletes were not strong? Tiger Woods is built like an NFL Safety and his swing is an amazing balance of these two ingredients.

2. A sport must not be objective, not subjective. All sports are judged by someone on some level. There are umpires, referees, linesmen, judges, etc. Some sports are policed by players themselves, but in all sports a point is a point and the scoring of such a point is not the decision of an individual. What I am trying to say is that if you are judged to have won you have not competed in a sport, you have competed in a competition.

3. To be a sport the primary means of winning must be done by the athlete, not a machine or other instrument. In golf there is a saying; "It's not the arrow, it's the Indian," meaning the clubs don't make the score, the golfer does. This is not to say that equipment can't be used to improve your game, it just can't be the sole focus.

4. To be a sport there must be a physical focus, not a mental focus. There are some non-sports that purport to be sports because they require such a strong mental focus that it is physically draining. I don't doubt that these activities are challenging, nor would I argue that anyone could do them, I just refuse to call them sports, these are called activities.

Well that is it. Rules to live by, now the fun part, we get to make people mad and tell them their favorite "sport" is not really a sport.

Golf - Absolutely a sport. Meets all criteria above. Yes this definitely includes the athleticism and endurance part. The act of swinging a golf club is one of the most unnatural movements you can make with your body, it requires flexibility, strength, and precision.

Bowling - Borderline, but as much as I love going bowling it is not a sport. It does however meet most of the criteria above, except it does not take endurance. OK maybe your arm gets tired after bowling a few frames but are you ever out of breath when you play? Do you sweat because of physical exertion when you play? Have you ever had to take a break from bowling to rehydrate? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions you need to start an exercise program....immediately.

Figure Skating - Takes athleticism and an abnormal amount of flexibility and skill, but not a sport. Your only method of scoring is through a judge giving you points thus it is subjective. Judges can be bought and sold, bribed and threatened, just ask the IOC. Also possibly a rule #5; If sequenes (I can't figure out how to spell that) are a regular part of your "sports" uniforms it is not a sport.

Race Car Driving - Nope. You are primarily reliant on a machine. If Tony Stewart's car crashes he will not win the race. If his engine blows out, he will not win. Also I doubt the amount of athleticism required to drive a race car. True, I have never done it, nor do I think I could, but I don't believe it takes a particular amount of flexibility or strength.

Chess - Throw it in with poker, spelling bee, and scrabble. NOT a sport. There is 0 athleticism involved in these activities, there is 0 hand-eye cordination involved, and there is physical aspect involved. Talent is required but NOT sports. Just because you are on ESPN doesn't mean you are a sport. That means you domino player.

Boxing/MMA/etc. - Very close to being non-sports actually. Obviously they meet most qualifications for a sport however judging takes a very large role. "Pacquiao won the second 10 - 9 on points." "Lidell won in a split decision." This is a valid arguement, however, you can still win by knockout, tapout, TKO, etc. thus there is the possibility of winning objectively. Plus bonus points are awarded in this case for the extreme amount of athleticism and ability required to play these sports at a high level.

By now you should get it but we will rapid fire a few just for funsies:

Basketball - Um yes.
Football - Yes.
Tennis - Yep.
Diving - Nope, judged.
Horse Racing - Sure, for the horse. Everyone else: NO.
Soccer - I guess. Still stop faking injuries soccer player, it makes you look like a wuss.
Darts - No. 0 endurance required.
Hunting - No, equipment is primary (Deer urine, really?).

It has thus been ruled, and feel free to submit a comment with your arguements (NASCAR fan) and I will tell you why you are wrong.


The Great Randini